The Storiettes
by Riceman
Summary: A number of extremely short stories of the "Storiettes" cycle; to read and smile, and then forget. Not to take seriously.


The Storiettes are divided into two sections, composed from my early works. This section is "Humorous", with stories barely exceeding ten lines in length at most.  They are to read and smile, not to take seriously.

I have not translated everything I've written in the second section, which is lengthy and called "The Legends of Palanthas", though several examples may be found on this site.  Namely, those are "Romantics" and "Old Leather Boots"; also tiny stories, but with more than just read-and-smile basis.

--Riceman (ploo@mail.ru)

**THE SUCCESSFUL EXPERIMENT**

After having returned home I thoroughly examined a glassy bead I had picked up somewhere near the Shoikan Grove. 

It wasn't glassy.  It wasn't even a bead.  It was an eye.  A living, disembodied eye.

Of course I never knew it was a fetus of a weird creature, which escaped from the archmage Raistlin's lab.

And certainly, I couldn't know that having squeamishly dropped the eye into the rubbish bin, I had put it into a perfect nourishing ambience, in which it quickly grew.

The eye rapidly developed.  It grew an eyelid with feathery lashes, the brain, a several pairs of pincers and an elastic stomach with translucent sides, through which the world surrounding me is barely visible... 

**THE LASER LANCE**

Co-written by Mariluz Ochoa

Ladies and gentlemen, the jury and the judges!

The presented criminal deal is not as simple as it may have seemed at the first glance!

I daresay there was no crime at all. There only was an intent not carried into effect.  Because if there was a crime, where are the results of it? Where is the caused damage? Who is the victim?

Yes, my client, Mage of the White Robes, traveled back in time and taught the prehistorical Krynnians the basements of quantum mechanics invented recently by the tinker gnomes. So what? As the special gnomish Committee expertise has shown, the History course wasn't in the least bit changed. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the course didn't change a single bit. The events happened as we know them and in the same strict order. There was Krynn, there was the Graygem and both Cataclysms.  And Wars of the Lance were fought not a second earlier or later. And Lord Ariakas was stabbed in the chest with an exciting accuracy – not a second earlier or later – by Tanis the Half-Elven.

And the fact that Ariakas was stabbed with a laser lance... Damn, does it make any difference at all what he was stabbed with!

**CHRISTMAS IN PALANTHAS**

_Children (happily, chanting):  Christmas-tree, do light up!_

_Christmas-tree: Nah._

_Children (less happily, chanting): Christmas-tree, please light up!_

_Christmas-tree: Nah._

_Children (in a begging voice): Christmas-tree, please oh please, do light up!_

_Christmas-tree: Nah._

_Raistlin (fury growing): Ast kiranann kair soth-arn suh kali jalaran!_

...The fire was extinguished only by the morning.

* * *

If I ever write a play, I'll begin it with the words:

"Narrator: 'It was a clear, warm, sunny...'

Pause.

'Penultimate day...'

And, finally, in a distinct voice:

'...of Istar."

* * *

You may admire Caramon's strength.  You may adore Dalamar's concinnity. Praise Sturm's nobleness. Respect Crysania's faith. Kitiara's serpentine mind. Paladine's might. Takhisis's dark strength. Et cetera.

But you want to be only like Raistlin.

* * *

Astinus's Chronicles: "This morning the temperature in Palanthas has reached its peak. For the last two hundred years such high temperature was observed only once.  A year ago."

* * *

Raistlin once caught a small genie to perform an experiment.  When the research was over, he decided to release the genie and let it go.

The genie asked, "But what about a wish?.."

Raistlin pondered that over a little and said with a sigh, "Ok, what do you wish?"

* * *

A kender is like a snake, enjoyable until awaken.

* * *

"Don't awake the beast in me," roared Lord Soth.

"No worries," answered Kitiara. "I'm not afraid of mice."

* * *

"Good time of the day, ladies, gentlemen and specimens of other races having no division into such categories! You are hearing a recording of the Voice Device Which is Part of the Ultimate Unique Perfect Absolutely Safe Gnomish Air Traveling Device Designed For Automatic Air Flights Above Krynn, which is known as an Airplane by Other Less Vocabularized Races, which is ready for its first flight!  We are proud to announce that our Ultimate Unique Perfect Absolutely Safe Gnomish Air Traveling Device needs no gnomes to be operated, for it operates itself.  Now please fasten your seat belts and enjoy the... enjoy the... enjoy the... enjoy the..."

* * *

The Last Day of Krynn.  Gilean accepts the books from Astinus.

"Very good, my beloved Chronicler!  You have worked very well.  Are these all the books?"

"No," says Astinus, pointing to a pile nearly as large as the whole History of Krynn over thousands of years.

"What is that?" frowns Gilean.

"A gnomish computer user's manual," sighs Astinus.


End file.
